Mariner Baseball, May 22-May 29

Get out your barf bags people! It Mariners' Baseball!

Well... John Donovan of SI.com quotes Bob Finnagan of the Seattle Times as saying "If this keeps up, the Mariners will have to issue little white bags to fans attending their games."

It's not a real idea, however pratical it sounds. Yes, I'm a devoted M's fan, but that devotion is because of 90% accident of geography, 8% history, and 2% future. That leaves nothing to the present. Oh there are little things to love, such as when Ichiro throws baserunner out from way back in rightfield (Baseball is immune to grammar). But still what's there to love? The best pitchers are either too young or too old, Ichiro, Ibanez and Johjima, all of whom are missing puzzle pieces for contenders look worse the Yankees' utility players, as they being weighed down with the likes of Carl Everett or Adrian Beltre.

Who do we even have those guys? Safeco field is a pitcher's park with its far walls in the outfield, so why do we have these power-whiffing slugs? They're ruining the salt.

Why do I keep following these guys?

After all, I'm deeply in love with the St. Louis Cardinals and Albert Pujols. The Cards are a real team, deep with good pitching, and where starters are followed by relievers who know how to finish the game. It's filled with batters who don't look like tee-ball players who realize that their tee has been replaced live pitching. I would blog every day like the guys at deadspin, raptrously detailing the Red Birds latest attempt at greatness. No one would blame me; I wear my St. Louis hat every day, winners daily, contenders yearly, and I wouldn't have to worry about ineffectiveness of the Manager or the GM.

But still I will persist. There's still that 2% future, that maybe next year they'll great rid of their fat dinosaurs, Jamie Moyer and Felix Hernandez will be able to share their wisdom and youth, and that Mariners would play such great ball, A-rod and Griffey will be left weeping, wondering how they could have gone wrong leaving this team. That and watch Fraiser.

Pitching winners
J. Moyer
J. Washburn

Pitching losers
F. Hernandez
J. Moyer
J. Pineiro
G. Meche
E. Guardado

Batting stats (through the 22nd)
BA: 0.259
K's: 303
BB: 122
RBI: 217
HR's: 42
OBP: .314 (tied at 11th with the K.C. Royals)
SLG.: .392 (last)
OPS.: .706 (12th in the AL)


How did they reach these vaunted, vaulted heights of suckery?
After finishing a good series with the Padres they turned around and split a series with equally-sucky Orioles 8-6, 4-12, 7-4, 0-2. Then they ventured to play the crappy Twins for three game set and were swept, 1-3, 5-9, 3-4. And yesterday they lost to the Texas Rangers 0-2. Joyous. I don't really want to talk about them anymore for today. I've had enough for now, see you next week.